I am extremely grateful to God for taking me through semester one of med school. But honestly, it was more difficult than I expected. Now I really understand what the second year students were attempting to do when they warned us about the level of difficulty of the programme. Initially, I thought they were only trying to scare us ... it seemed to me that they were exaggerating. But now, I really understand. IT IS A LOT OF WORK.
I mean, semester one wasn't so bad after all; it's not that the content of the courses was difficult. It was just a lot - as in, it entailed a very large quantity of things to learn in a seemingly short period of time. I know that I am definitely at fault though for exercising poor study habits and all that. It's quite ironic because, believe me, I started out great. For the first two weeks =), I went home and would reread my notes (interestingly, that actually helped me out on the exams I had 4 months later) and I'd view the powerpoint presentations and everything. I was even reading ahead of all my classes! But eventually, I became "tired" of doing that - it wasn't something I was used to, so I stopped. Actually, it used to make my head hurt too. I remember opening my anatomy atlas and fighting overwhelming feelings, praying for the peace of God to rule my heart. Seriously!
Unfortunately, like I said, I stopped doing that, and that's where I went wrong. This semester, I have made a decision to be disciplined though. A decision to commit to studying despite my feelings or the lack of interest in any topic. I'm only doing medicine because of the grace of God and I really thank Him for such an awesome privilege. I don't want to let Him down or bring shame to His Name.
The disappointing thing is, I have no idea how well (or not so well) I performed on my exams, and that really is a concern of mine. However, God keeps reminding me to trust Him and not worry about a thing. He has taken me through situations like these before; I just don't want to become presumptuous in my actions - to put in a mediocre standard of work and expect to reap glorious results.
Lord, please help me to be more disciplined, and to also include You in every aspect of my life.
