Who knew med was so difficult?

I am extremely grateful to God for taking me through semester one of med school.  But honestly, it was more difficult than I expected.  Now I really understand what the second year students were attempting to do when they warned us about the level of difficulty of the programme.  Initially, I thought they were only trying to scare us ... it seemed to me that they were exaggerating.  But now, I really understand.  IT IS A LOT OF WORK. 

I mean, semester one wasn't so bad after all; it's not that the content of the courses was difficult.  It was just a lot - as in, it entailed a very large quantity of things to learn in a seemingly short period of time.  I know that I am definitely at fault though for exercising poor study habits and all that.  It's quite ironic because, believe me, I started out great.  For the first two weeks =), I went home and would reread my notes (interestingly, that actually helped me out on the exams I had 4 months later) and I'd view the powerpoint presentations and everything.  I was even reading ahead of all my classes!  But eventually, I became "tired" of doing that - it wasn't something I was used to, so I stopped.  Actually, it used to make my head hurt too.  I remember opening my anatomy atlas and fighting overwhelming feelings, praying for the peace of God to rule my heart.  Seriously! 

Unfortunately, like I said, I stopped doing that, and that's where I went wrong.  This semester, I have made a decision to be disciplined though.  A decision to commit to studying despite my feelings or the lack of interest in any topic.  I'm only doing medicine because of the grace of God and I really thank Him for such an awesome privilege.  I don't want to let Him down or bring shame to His Name.

The disappointing thing is, I have no idea how well (or not so well) I performed on my exams, and that really is a concern of mine.  However, God keeps reminding me to trust Him and not worry about a thing.  He has taken me through situations like these before; I just don't want to become presumptuous in my actions - to put in a mediocre standard of work and expect to reap glorious results.  

Lord, please help me to be more disciplined, and to also include You in every aspect of my life.